The Morning Show - Papertrail

 LOU'S TOP 10 FAVORITE SONGS ALL-TIME

10) Alice Cooper - "Schools Out"

9) Danzig - "Mother"

8) Everclear - "Annabella's Song"

7) Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Ballad of Curtis Loew"

6) Pennywise - "Bro Hymn"

5) Bush - "Machinehead"

4) Metallica - "No Leaf Clover"

3) Foo Fighters - "Everlong"

2) Weezer - "Say it ain't so"

1) Silverchair - "Tomorrow"

 ETHAN'S LIST IS COMING SOON!!!!!!

 LISA’S TOP 10 FAVORITE SONGS ALL-TIME

10) Patsy Cline – "Crazy"

9) Petula Clark – "Downtown"

8) Shirley Bassey – "Goldfinger"

7) Bonnie Raitt – I can’t make you love me"

6) Lou Reed – Sweet Jane

5) Billie Holiday – "Strange Fruit"

4) Suzanne Vega – "Caramel"

3) Janis Joplin – "Piece of my heart"

2) Johnny Cash – "Ring of Fire"

1) Little Feat – "Dixie Chicken"

 LISTENER TOP 10'S ALL-TIME - (If you would like your list posted here e-mail it to lou@i95rock.com)

RANDY FROM RIDGEFIELD, CT -

10) Nirvana - "D7"

9) Soundgarden - "Rusty Cage"

8) Pink Floyd - "Run Like Hell"

7) Metallica - "Frantic"

6) White Zombie - "Thunderkiss 65"

5) Dead Kennedys - "Holiday in Cambodia"

4) Led Zeppelin - "Travelin' Riverside Blues"

3) Motorhead - "Ace of Spades"

2) The Clash - "London Calling"

1) Black Sabbath - "War Pigs"

TOP SIGNS YOUR TOO OLD FOR MYSPACE 2

10) You have 10 friends and 9 of them are dead, the other one is Tom

9) Your standing next to Benjamin Franklin in your default picture

8) Under interests you put trying to remember when to change your diaper and not dying.

7) Your only blog entry reads: I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

6) You know when it’s going to rain when your post a comment finger gets soar

5) Your grandson denied your friend request

4) You received a friend request from the grim reaper

3) All your event invitations are to funerals

2) Myspace created a new status category for you called: “Twice widowed”

1) It takes you 6 hours to post new pictures on your page because you have to call your daughter in-law for a ride to the library to use the computer

 LIST OF MUST HAVE ALBUMS ON A DESERTED ISLAND AS CHOSEN BY THE I-95 LISTENERS

1. Revolver, The Beatles
2. Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
3. IV, Led Zeppelin
4. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles
5. Hotel California, The Eagles
6. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
7. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen
8. Pink Floyd, The Wall
9. The Beatles ("The White Album"), The Beatles
10. Nevermind, Nirvana
11. Eat a Peach, Allman Brothers
12. Let It Bleed, The Rolling Stones
13. Van Halen, Van Halen
14. The Doors, The Doors
15. Metallica (“Black Album”), Metallica
16. Beggars Banquet, Rolling Stones
17. Rubber Soul, The Beatles
18. Are You Experienced?, The Jimi Hendrix Experience
19. Ten, Pearl Jam
20. One More from the Road, Lynyrd Skynyrd
21. The Joshua Tree, U2
22. Abbey Road, The Beatles
23. Crossroads, Eric Clapton
24. Who's Next, The Who
25. Master of Reality, Black Sabbath
26. Physical Graffiti, Led Zeppelin
27. Back in Black, AC/DC
28. At Fillmore East, Allman Brothers
29. Tommy, The Who
30. Master of Puppets, Metallica
31. Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin
32. 1984, Van Halen
33. Achtung, Baby, U2
34. Abraxas, Santana
35. Déjà vu, Crosby, Stills and Nash
36. Frampton Comes Alive, Peter Frampton
37. Moondance, Van Morrison
38. Document, R.E.M.
39. Please Please Me, The Beatles
40. Highway to Hell, AC/DC
41. Imagine, John Lennon
42. Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett
43. Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi
44. Santana, Santana
45. Rumours, Fleetwood Mac
46. Synchronicity, The Police
47. Blue, Joni Mitchell
48. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, David Bowie
49. Cars, Cars
50. I Love Rock N’ Roll, Joan Jett

 THE GREATEST SPORTS MOVIES OF ALL-TIME ACCORDING TO THE I-95 LISTENERS 1-30-08

NUMBERS -

61

A –

Ali
Any Given Sunday
A League of their own

B –

Bull Durham
Brian’s Song
Breaking Away
Bang the drum slowly

C –

Caddyshack
Chariots of Fire

D –

Dodgeball
Days of Thunder

E –

Endless summer
Eight Men Out

F –

Field of Dreams
Friday Night Lights

G –

H –

Happy Gilmore
Hoosiers

I –

Invincible

J –

Jerry Macguire

K –

Karate Kid

L –

Legend of Bagger Vance
Let it ride
Little Giants

M –

Major League
Miracle
Mighty Ducks

N –

O –

Over the top

P –

Pride of the Yankees
Pumping Iron

Q –

R –

Rudy
Raging Bull
Rocky
Rocky II
Rocky IV
Remember the Titans

S –

Slapshot
Sandlot

T –

The Bad News Bears
The Babe
The Fan
The Program
The Hustler
The Longest Yard
The Natural
The Freshman
Tin Cup
The Hurricane
The Color of Money
The Setup

U –

V –

Varsity Blues

W –

We are Marshall
White men can’t jump

X –

Y –

Z -

 TOP THINGS MEN NEVER WANT TO HEAR IN THE BEDROOM

10) Thanks for the effort.

9) I’ve told you a million times I am never gonna do THAT! 

8) If you want to do this then let’s get going I have a PTA meeting in 30 minutes.

7) When was the last time you took a shower?

6) That’s a new record for speed.

5) Since you can’t seem to finish the task at hand I invited your Bowling buddy Greg over to help out.

4) Alright I’ll meet you here same time next month.

3) Could you turn Sports Center off and focus please.

2) Have we started yet?

1) One more back spasm and we are done.

BONUS – Your brother does that so much different!

TOP SIGNS YOU LOST THE TRUE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY

10) When SEXYPANTS123 outbid you for that digital camera on Ebay you put your foot through your computer monitor

9) Aunt Rose caught you chugging vodka in the kitchen after she told you she was allergic to cheese. 

8) You told the cashier at Bath and Body Works that there ARE dumb questions despite what your parents told you.

7) You parked in a handicapped spot at the mall, and then you limped to the front door, pushed a little kid out of your way at the entrance and wind-sprinted to EB games.

6) You refer to Christmas music at the devil’s choir.

5) When the mall Santa waved at you, you called him an alcoholic and told him to get a real job.

4) You called your sons music teacher a no talent hack after she decided your kid wasn’t ready for his clarinet solo in the school XMAS pageant. 

2) You leg whipped your 6 year old nephew during a family football game and told him football isn’t for Nancy boys. 

1) You challenged an old lady to an arm wrestling match for the last Guitar Hero set at Best Buy…. you won…and then you taunted her.

TOP SIGNS YOU’RE PARANOID ABOUT THE MLB STEROID SCANDAL

10) You caught your wife looking at your back and you screamed: “That’s dry skin, NOT BACNE!”

9) You took 2 days to read the Micthell Report cover to cover just to make sure your name was not in there. 

8) Since putting on 20 lbs of muscle this fall you’ve found an asterisk next to your name on the employee phone list.

7) Your fear of being associated with any Major league ball players on the Mitchell report list has caused you to fire your landscaper; Lenny Dykstra.

6) You thought you saw Jose Canseco peering at you from behind the bread rack at Shaws.

5) You cancelled your subscription to Muscle and Fitness.

4) You couldn’t watch A-Rod on 60 Minutes last night because his lie reflects yours.

3) You told your family ringworm was to blame for your recent weight loss.

2) You cancelled your membership at Gold’s Gym, bought a wig and started taking spin at Curves.

1) You’ve been screening your calls to make sure Roger Clemens isn’t calling to make sure you have your stories straight. 

TOP THINGS MICHAEL VICK IS GETTING FOR XMAS

10) Soap on a rope

9) A new lover

8) Matching striped outfit.

7) Juggs magazine subscription

6) Cigarettes

5) A twin sized bed.

4) A gym membership to the yard.

3) A flashlight for lights out.

2) The privilege of sharing the TV with 60 other men at a time.

1) A newfound appreciation for showering alone. 

TOP SIGNS YOUR COMPANY XMAS PARTY WENT HORRIBLY WRONG

10) You ended up on the Maury Povich show the following week.

9) You have a lipstick ring in a bad place and your wife WAS NOT at the party.

8) You have a new tattoo that reads: “property of Burt”

7) Your thumb smells of Vasoline the next day.

6) Your co-workers are calling you “Lumpy” on Monday morning.

5) You have to apologize to Becca in HR for calling her stout.

4) Keith from accounting has a photo of you kissing Frank in sales…and you’re a dude!

3) While giving your Monday morning presentation Ben and Sara snicker when you say: “we need to strengthen our growth this quarter”

2) Your car has a new bumper sticker that reads: “I hope you dance” and you didn’t put it there.

1) Your updating your resume right now. 

 TOP SIGNS YOUR WATCHING TOO MUCH REALITY TV

10) You know who Tila Tequila is and you want her to choose Dani.

9) You refer to every experience you have as a journey.

8) You keep thinking your going to get voted out of your own house.

7) You tried to form an alliance with your auto-mechanic and he kicked you out of his office…at which point you said you were OK with your journey coming to an end.

6) When your mom calls during Extreme Makeover Home Edition you call her a selfish bitch and hang up the phone.

5) You know that Tailor Made is a person and an ass-wipe.

4) You know that Ben Stein’s career has bottomed out.

3) You rarely admit what you’ve been watching on TV.  Because it’s ridiculously embarrassing.

2) You turned the office supply closet into a makeshift confessional.

1) Your dating multiple people at once and you make them compete in a series of ridiculous events to find out who is really here for you and who’s here for the cameras.

TOP THINGS YOU NEVER WANNA HEAR IN A MENS BATHROOM

10) You look familiar have I ever seen you at Triangles?

9) How bout’ a courtesy flush numb nuts?

8) I can’t believe how cold it is in here, my nipples are so hard!

7) What did you eat guy?

6) How bout a hug?

5) Excuse me sir but this is the ladies room!

4) Hey man have you ever seen anything like this before?

3) That’s a nice wide-stance you have there!

2) Someone get me a plunger, she’s gonna blow!

1) Can I have some extra toilet paper, and a lot of SEX?

TOP SIGNALS THAT IT’S TIME TO HAND IN YOUR MAN CARD

10) You think NASCAR still runs the Winston Cup Series.

9) You think Rothlesberger is a chain of burger joints in the south

8) The last time you saw a Notre Dame football game they were good.

7) When describing automotive problems to your mechanic you use terms like: ‘thingie”, doo-hikkie”,and the thing with all the slits in it.

6) When you hear the song: “I Hope you Dance”  You actually dance, and yes like know one is watching.

5) The only thing you have in your garage is a Beach Cruiser bike and a poster of Jake Gylenhall.

4) You watch 6 hours of West Wing on Sunday’s and not 1 snap of pro-football

3) Whenever A-Rod steps to the plate you make akward comments about how fit you think he is.  How can a person be built like that?

2) The only set of tools you own is from: “The Sharper Image”

1) You think that Peyton Manning is the new color line from Ralph Lauren paints.

TOP SIGNS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH A MIDGET

10) Her girlfriends sing: “Follow the Yellowbrick Road” whenever you are around.

9) You find a Home Depot receipt for a stepladder in her purse.

8) She destroys your: “Short people got no reason to live” CD.

7) She joins the Vern Troyer fan club.

6) She has a newfound interest in Wrestling

5) She takes shorter strides when walking.

4) She orders dresses that un-button from the bottom

3) She tells you, you’re not half the man you used to be and then giggles to herself.

2) There’s a mysterious unicycle in your garage

1) Her ankles smell of AXE Deoderant spray.

TOP SIGNS YOU’RE WHITE TRASH

10) Your investment portfolio consists of a busted Camaro and a bald eagle pewter belt-buckle. 

9) Friday nights mean; fried chicken, live bait, and screaming matches with your mother-in-law…followed by sex with your mother-in-law.

8) There’s a wanted poster with your face on it at Blockbuster.

7) Your socks smell like Jack Daniels!

6) Billy Ray Cyrus has a restraining order out on you.

5) You bought a boat with your Marlboro miles.

4) Your niece sends you dirty text messages but you can’t access them because you are delinquent on your phone bill.

3) Your dog owns a hunting rifle.

2) Your wall art consists of a Merl Haggard polaroid and a velvet Lynyrd Skynyrd tapestry.

1) Your truck does not have holes in it, your holes have a truck on them.

TOP SIGNS YOU’RE  ON A DATE WITH A CRAZY BRAUD

-She says: I didn’t kill my ex the court ruled it self-defense

-She’s wearing a Utility belt

-She tells you her Grandmother cuts her hair, all of it

-She tells you she thinks that Satan likes it when she mixes her veggies with her potatoes

-When she orders she says: I’m not sure weather I want the Lobster or the steak, so I’ll have the Lobster, the Steak, and a cheeseburger w/fries, a side salad with a diet coke.

-She tells you: My old medication used to make me scream in my sleep

-She draws pictures of what your kids might look like on a napkin

-She says: Our server is really sexy, we should bring him home with us

-She lets one go at the table and says uh-oh the demons are getting out.

-She tells you you remind her of her Uncle Larry who she used to make out with.

-She points out other men in the room she has slept with

-She shows you the scar she got while in jail.

-She performs a monologue from Hamlet while brushing her hair with her dinner fork.

-She tells you to take your elbows off the table, then she blows her nose in her dress.